If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
