what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
