Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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