I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Randomize
