so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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