Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
