She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
