lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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