Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
