My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
how can u be prego again
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
