How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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