I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I could fuck to npr.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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