Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
