nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
His nipple licking is glorious
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