i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
