i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Randomize
