When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
