Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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