I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
