mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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