fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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