so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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