Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
