who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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