i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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