insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
