so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
