I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
If I die, sorry about rent.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
