in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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