my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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