I'm drive I can fine osifer
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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