Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
