I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
