i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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