exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
