Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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