Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
