You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
