I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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