let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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