awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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