Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
