Sry I called you an 8
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
