you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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