I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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