I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
