Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize