She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
