I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
