He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
