got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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