youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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