Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
