Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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