I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
