i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
