Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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