Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
